


Intrude

by Jemisard



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 03:57:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17439494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jemisard/pseuds/Jemisard
Summary: Todd runs into an old band member in her new life. Her new life is not prepared for Dirk.CW: Pararibulitis attack described.





	Intrude

"Todd Brotzman?"

Todd knew that voice. He would know that voice anywhere and he'd be lying if he said it didn't make his stomach cringe into knots.

He turned around anyway, not plastering on a false smile, because he'd tried to move beyond the compulsive lying. "Kidder."

"Not anymore. I go by Margot now. Margot Jones, my actual name."

She was as striking as ever. The dyed streaks were gone and she'd gained weight and colour in the six years since he'd seen her. She was dressed like... a conservative.

"You look great. How are you?" He didn't move in closer, but she stepped in anyway, offering her hand. He shook it more out of a sense of obligation than anything.

"Oh, you know. Making do. I got married five years ago." She showed him her hand, engagement diamond and wedding band. "He's a youth counsellor at our church."

"Oh."

Really, what else was there to say to that? Holy shit, I'm shocked that the punk rock girl who once had a threesome in the back of the van while high on E is married to a church youth counsellor? You didn't say shit like that.

"I know, it's been a big change for me. After the band broke up, I was a bit bereft, but Andrew helped me understand that I'd been filling myself with rebellion and drugs and meaningless, physical acts because I was yearning for God to come into my life." She gave him the sort of simpering, supportive smile that dripped with superiority. "And with God, I could put away the sins of my past and be the child He wanted me to be."

Todd couldn't even manage 'oh' this time. 

"And how are you? What are you doing now?" She smiled again.

"Um... I'm working with a private investigator, but he doesn't really do the usual stuff a PI does." He found pets sometimes. On occasion. Usually by accident.

"That's certainly different for you. You aren't involved in music anymore? And how's Amanda?"

No, he wasn't involved in music, because it reminded him of being a terrible person. And Amanda was living on the road in a van with four energy vampires and a Rainbow Beast from a pocket reality. "She's good. She's really doing well. She lives with a group of people who are really supportive."

"Like a share house? That's wonderful. I know you worried about her when she got sick. Has she got better?"

Todd bit his tongue before he answered. "It's under control these days." Close enough to true. She was harnessing it more and more, the Rowdies connecting her deeper with her true abilities.

"You seem very detached, Todd. Maybe you should consider _1 John 4:19_ , We love, because first He loved us. His love will show you a way to love yourself." Margot gave that same condescending, superior smile. "You should come to a service, or you could come to a private bible study group at my home."

"Kid- Margot. I'm really not the church sort," Todd said carefully. "At all."

"Church is for everyone ready to hear His words," she promised. "Whatever you've done before."

"Or whoever you've done," Todd muttered.

For a moment, there was a flash of Kidder in her gaze, spitfire and hellraiser and then she visibly tamped down the anger. "Or whoever," she agreed with that smile. "Whatever I was before, I found Him and He has shown me a better way. And He can show you that way." She reached out to touch him and a spark of static flared between them.

She flinched back as Todd did, already laughing awkwardly but Todd was looking at his hand, already knowing what he'd see.

The skin was pinking, charring from the pinprick where the spark hit him. "Fuck no," he whispered. He tried to dig out his pills, but he was already losing the feeling in his fingers as the skin and nerves burned away.

"Todd?"

The pain was excruciating. He kept trying to breathe through his nose and keep his mouth tightly shut.

Another spark hit him in the small of his back and he cried out, arching away from it, but it was already running over him, bringing him to his knees.

"Oh fuck, Todd." She came down next to him, sliding off her jacket to put it under his head. "Someone call an ambulance!"

He managed a sound of protest, pulling at her, trying to direct her to his medication. And the instructions on it, to call Farah and then-

"Todd!"

Dirk appeared over him, already shoving Margot aside to occupy as much of Todd's field of vision as well. "It's an attack? Of course it's an attack, stupid Dirk!"

Todd couldn't tell Dirk off for his self-recrimination, or remind him that the medication would be far more useful, because Todd was busy trying not to shake himself apart as the electricity wracked his body.

"Tablets! Right, yes, I have your spares, because you got upset that time I went through your jeans pockets and it turned out there was a hole." Dirk kept talking as he dug out the tablets he carried, shaking one onto his hand. "Hold these." He shoved the bottle at Margot, one hand sliding under Todd's head and the other pushing the tablet to his lips.

Todd forced the pill down, looking up at Dirk and hoping his gratitude was visible in his eyes before he had to close them again against the pain.

"Thank you for helping, is this your coat? It's a very soft coat, anyway, thanks for helping my partner, but I can look after him from here."

"Your partner? This is an old friend of mine, we were in a band together."

Maybe Todd would be lucky enough to pass out.

"Mexican Funeral?! Oh, how wonderful! I'm Dirk, Dirk Gently, I'm an holistic detective."

"Oh! You're the PI that Todd works with. For? I wasn't clear on that point."

"Yes!" Which wasn't the answer to that question, but was a very Dirk answer. "We work together. It's my name on the business, but that's just because it would get too messy to add more names to it and we already have the sign." Dirk lifted Todd's shoulders and shifted to rest Todd on his lap, absently brushing his hair and brow.

"You seem very... close. Familiar. It's very Christian of you to care so well for a sick friend."

"Very... no, no, my name's Dirk. D. I. R. K." 

Todd heard himself give a short laugh that was cut off by the next spasm. Maybe he could pass it off as an involuntary sound.

"And he's not my _friend_. Well, I mean, he is, obviously, and I would totally do this if he was just my friend, but he's my partner, I think partner is a much more mature word than 'boyfriend', don't you? It suggests a level of commitment and maturity, even though Farah promises me that we're both completely immature and lucky we found each other because it would be hard for any mature person to stomach either of us for a prolonged time." Dirk's hand stilled on Todd's cheek briefly, rubbing his stubble.

Todd could picture the way Kidder's, Margot's face would screw up at that. She wouldn't like it, not with this new born again bullshit. But she wouldn't want to be outright rude.

"You do know that Todd's not gay."

"I know. He's bi. He had a thing going with the third partner in the agency at one time, but they both said it was mostly the stress of being on the run, and I believe it, being on the run is _very_ stressful, lots of high emotions and intense bonding."

The convulsions seemed to have stopped. Todd let his eyes drift open, looking up at his boyfriend.

Dirk was watching him, a gentle smile crossing his face. "Hey there. Electrocution?"

"Yeah." Todd closed his eyes again, licked his dry lips.

"This lady was saying she was in Mexican Funeral with you."

"Yeah." He took another breath that wasn't interrupted with spasms. "Margot."

"But that was the old me, the new me, the born again me, found our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ."

"Where?"

Todd smothered the urge to laugh.

"... what do you mean, where?"

"Where did you find him? I understand that his Second Coming is _quite_ a big deal, so a lot of people are probably looking for him."

Classic Dirk. He probably had that earnest expression, the one that screamed innocent confusion and was total, utter bullshit, because Dirk's capacity for bullshitting people was completely disproportionate to his ability to lie or manipulate in _any other way_.

"Are you- You can't be serious. Can you?"

"What?" Dirk sounded so confused.

Todd opened his eyes again and reached up, catching Dirk's tie as his arm lost the fight against gravity. "Help."

"Yes, valid point, I'm sorry, I'm going to get him off the floor and out to the car, electrocution attacks always leave him really exhausted and shaky, but at least they're not drowning attacks, those are probably the worst for long term effects." Dirk got his arm under Todd's shoulders and helped him to sit up, slipping in behind him to keep him steady.

And then pressing a kiss to Todd's temple, which Todd would normally object to on the basis of being sappy and sentimental, but Margot's expression was enough to satisfy the little prickly self that Todd let loose on the world.

"On three. One, two, hup!" And they were pushing up off the ground. Todd could feel the muscles in his legs shaking and he locked his knees to try and stabilise himself.

"Do you, need help to the car?" Margot's voice clearly said _I do not want to spend more time with you, I am beyond uncomfortable_. Todd was considering letting her off the hook, or forcing her to be polite in the face of their obviously sinful relationship, when Dirk made that call.

"Oh no. I know all the ways to handle Todd's body," he replied cheerfully. "But thanks for the help, and lovely meeting you, Margaret."

"Margot," she corrected.

"Right, as I said!" Dirk gathered Todd in close as they started to move off and back to the entrance. "Lovely to meet you! I hope you manage to show Jesus to other people!"

"You're terrible," Todd murmured.

"Clearly, all the rubbing off we've been doing to each other," Dirk replied.

Todd glanced up, but Dirk was already off explaining all the ways Todd was clearly a gentler person because of Dirk's presence, so Todd assumed it was probably fully intended the way it sounded.

Maybe he'd say thank you with a bit more rubbing off after they got home...


End file.
